all bout My life

All about my life ~ 

I'm a type who really love to pretend .

I love to act like as if nothing happen . 

After things happened , 

i guilty being a pretenders cos i gain more hurt and people thots tat i will always be okayy .

I love to act normal cos i don't want to hurt anyone . 

This is my real character who always understand people feelings & 

Don't understand my own feelings .

I don't wish this things to happen to me at all but my character is totally like this .

Currently in my life here come 

Mira Qatek :) my only precious one 

&

Nana Fana :) my lil sister .

Yes both is important to me . 

But yes my gf is more important and really precious to me in my heart .

she's being there with me when anything happen to me .

She kept everything inside her heart although she's hurt .

I understand how she feel cos me myself feels this before .

Its leave a deeply cut that take a longer time to heals . 

I know i've been always giving in on both of you . 

i keeping this while since the time about my birthday planning .

I should be happy actually but why was i deeply down & its hurts me alots ?

I just want  both of you to be there when my birthday .

but this isn't i want actually .

My girlfriend love to revenge .

I don't want that to keep in her heart .

Cos it's won't be happy like that cos i knew it everything .

How would i say if i rather spent my special day with my belove family ?

both of u will really get hurt .

I don't wish to have any suprise at all . 

Cos i just appriciate if both of you with me . 

I don't wish to hurt my girlfriend or anyone at all . 

I don't WISH for that at all . 

I feel like crying now , but who noes ?

No one noes cos i alwaes give in and react like things as normal . 

I don't wish to have any fight .

I don't wish to pretend again .

I don't wish to get hurt again .

I JUST WISH EVERYTHING WILL GET STABLE .

How hurt am i , i still being strong to stay here and accept for who you are ,

Cos my love is bigger than aWORD iloveyou that alwaes i whisper to you <3

You meant everything to me & don't because of that you want to take for granted .

Yes i admit i don't know how to elaborate how much i love you , but the action i did for you always show .

You just need to focus too . 

Im focusing every step you do .

so do you ?

I hope you feel me too .